C'est la Vie!

2003-01-06T09:15:00.000-05:00

This is my last post. It has been a pleasure. However, I am saying farewell. Thanks for taking the time to read. Happy New Year to you all. I hope it is a great year for everyone.

2002-12-25T12:29:00.000-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

2002-12-20T14:21:00.000-05:00

I have a confession to make to a friend. (This too was brought on by the line in the song mentioned below.) As many of you know, I finished my first year of law school at Georgia State Univeristy a year and a half ago. After coming back to Louisville and getting my job at Sheffer & Sheffer, I decided to sit out not only one but two years. In the last couple days I realized that I would have been halfway through my third year of law school with graduation only five months away. And suddenly I felt like I had failed. Failed who or what I don't know, but I had failed. Do I regret my decision to take time off and work? Yes, sometimes I do, but most of the time no. It was not an easy decision to make but as I look to the future I think for me it was the right one and it seems to be working out okay.

2002-12-20T13:58:00.000-05:00

I have had one line of a song stuck in my head for about three days now. I have no idea what the song is or who sings it but the line says "It's a damn cold night, trying to figure out this life..." The rest of the song was good but I cannot get that line out of my head.

I suppose there are many ways one could interpret the line. At first I thought of a friend of mine who seems very down and alone right now. He's trying to figure out his life and I think that can be a truly lonely time just like a cold night.

Next, I thought about my future and how sometimes I feel very alone when I'm trying to see how the pieces are supposed to fit and what's the next piece. Somehow thinking about the future took me back to the past. I'm quite happy where I am in my life and I am slowing putting the pieces together, but as I looked back I suddenly felt sad because I realized that there were a lot of things I regretted. Only I didn't regret specific decisions and it wasn't the kind of regret where you think you've totally screwed up. It was just a flash of "I wish I had been stronger, more aware, more careful, smarter, bolder, braver..." However, my last thought even as that line continues to play in my head is that all the moments in the past led me to where I am now.

2002-12-08T16:12:00.000-05:00

I'm blogging while at work so I guess I really should stop and get back to work so I can get home in time to watch my regular 9:00 p.m. show. Later all.

2002-12-08T16:11:00.000-05:00

I was driving home from my parents' house in Finchville one night last week and found myself really looking at the houses I was passing. Have you ever driven past a house and wondered what the people living in it are like? You know, are they happy, sad, fighting, divorced, kids, no kids? Maybe b/c of the holiday season, I have been thinking more about family, but that one night in particular.

There are all different kinds of families, I suppose: Single parent families, gay parent families, traditional two parent families, families without parents, kids living with aunts/uncles/grandparents. And all of those are just the families you are born with, but then there are the families you pick. Several of my friends are like family to me, but they are the family I got to pick. It's a very different kind of family and one that certainly has a lot of benefits.

Families are interesting things. No two are ever just a like just as no two people are ever just a like.

2002-12-06T12:58:00.000-05:00

I love the snow! I will admit that the driving conditions on Wednesday and even a little yesterday morning sucked - although, it would be better if the people in this city didn't forget how to drive every time it rains or snows and well let's not discuss the Indiana drivers. In general though, I love the snow. I've been a home body the last two days and it's been quite nice. Snow, a fire in the fireplace, John and a good book. I'm very content.

We're off to Illinois this weekend to spend time with Bryce. It is strange to feel like your part of a family that isn't you're own. Although some would think it not like me to be content doing the family thing, I am quite at home with his family and Bryce. His family is very different from mine or rather his family just isn't as fucked up as mine. Don't get me wrong, they, of course, are not perfect but there aren't the problems like exist in some of my friends' families an mine. It gives me hope that I won't end up like my parents.

Work is rather exhausting but good and I think it will stay that way for quite some time. We have several trials at the first part of 2003 that I will be actively involved in. It is amazing to me just how much litigation costs. We just finished the budget for the first trial of the year and the estimated cost is around 1 million dollars for five weeks of trial. And that is just the preliminary budget; it can be amended at anytime if more money is needed. A big chunk of that budget is for experts. I've decided that's really the job to have. Some of these medical experts make $600-$800 per hour. Can you imagine? You could work a couple days a month and live pretty well.

Well that's all for now. I know there is a post that just got published today b/c publishing was unavailable for a bit. Back to work now.

2002-12-03T10:04:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone had a very nice Thanksgiving. It was certainly nice for me to have a couple days off from work. It was a busy weekend. I spent Thursday with my family, which was nice because everyone is getting along right now. Then Friday I departed for Illinois early on Friday morning. I had a second Thanksgiving with John, Bryce and the rest of John's family. It was very nice.

We didn't do much on Friday. We basically just enjoyed the time off, watched a couple movies, spent a little time in the hottub and relaxed. Saturday I returned to Louisville mid-day and went shopping. I am happy to say that my Christmas shopping with the exception of two items is finished. I always enjoy Christmas shopping but I think even more so this year because it is the first year in the last 7 years that I haven't worked at the mall during Christmas. Let me just say, for the record, I don't miss working at the mall one bit.

Sunday, John and I put up our Christmas trees and my decorations, made chili, wrapped Christmas presents (John has most of his Christmas shopping done as well) and then curled up by the fire to watcha couple of movies.

All in all it was a good holiday. The time off did me good; I was getting a little ragged around the edges by last week. I've been at Sheffer & Sheffer for about fourteen months (give or take a little) and have yet to take a day off. However, I plan to take a few days over Christmas and New Year's to take a trip to sunny and hopefully a warmer Florida.

As of right now, John and I plan to leave on the 27th for Florida. It will be nice to get away and have a few days to just spend together without other people around. John and I probably don't spend enough time alone so I think it will be good for us. Actually, sometimes, I think we've been together this long b/c we barely see each other but that has also caused problems to. I guess it's all about finding a balance and for us that is hard to do with both of us having very demanding jobs and his son and family being out of town. I'm looking forward to vacation and b/c of the way the holidays fall, I will only have to take a couple days off from work to end up with over a week off.

More later...maybe......

2002-11-28T17:48:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope everyone has a very nice day. Remember to take a moment to be thankful. Enjoy the day and spend it with those you love.

I'll blog again soon as I know I have been rather sporadic in doing so as of late. Happy Thanksgiving!

To all my good friends, you know who you are, thank you for all you do and for taking me as I am.

2002-11-14T08:54:00.000-05:00

Christmas. Christmas is my favourite time of the year. It is also the only time of the year when I enjoy shopping. However I do hate shopping with the above average number of idiots who also shop at Christmas, but I guess you take the good with the bad sometimes. Anyway, I generally hate to shop but Christmas is different because I love shopping for other people.

I'm still not one of those people who spends hours wondering through endless stores trying to find the perfect gift. I put a lot of thought into each person on my list and then after I have an idea of what I want to buy, I hit the stores. Of course, I do tend to do a fair amount of online shopping, which is just as much fun and no crowds involved.

I will probably start shopping this weekend. I am trying to buy a little at a time this year instead of doing all my shopping the week of Christmas. There is of course always the last minute item that you have to but I hope to have everything done at least a couple days before Christmas. We'll see because I always say that and always find myself shopping on the 23rd of December. At least that's better than shopping on Christmas Eve.

2002-11-14T08:45:00.000-05:00

Okay, okay, I'm blogging. Look, see this is me blogging finally after a two week absence.

Life is good so I really don't have a whole hell of a lot to say. I got a raise at work and a bit of praise from the senior partner (always nice). Relationship is going well. I'm looking forward to Christmas and a vacation. Yes, that's right a vacation. I will actually be taking time off from work over the holidays and getting out of town. I assure you it is a well-deserved vacation and I plan to enjoy every minute of it. I think perhaps a warmer Florida is calling.

2002-10-30T23:55:00.000-05:00

More soon. For now, its bed time.

2002-10-30T23:53:00.000-05:00

The recent flury of weddings and engagments has made me think ahead to my own wedding (someday, hopefully, but not anytime soon). I forsee one problem with the wedding party. Of course, you have the groom and I think ideally four groomsmen and a best man and then traditionally you have a maid of honor and an equal number of bridesmaids--I'm not really into the junior bridesmaid thing. I think I would prefer to have a man of honor and bridesman.

I realize this would make for a rather unusual looking wedding party i.e. a wedding party where the only female is the bride, but the people in your wedding, standing up for you are supposed to be your best friends. Right? Well, my best friends are guys. I can really only think of two girlfriends that I would even consider standing up for me and neithe know me as well as my guys friend. If I'm the bride then I can do whatever I want, right?

Therefore, I think someday I will have bridesmen and a man of honor. For two reasons: 1) b/c I would want my best friends up at the alter with me and 2) b/c renting tuxedos is cheaper than buying dresses. This option is sounding better all the time now.

2002-10-21T18:18:00.000-04:00

Yes, I am aware of the fact that I have not blogged for over a week. Why? Because I didn't feel like. So let's play a little catch up.

I had a nice birthday. Although I spent most of my birthday at work and at a bridal shop on Dixie Highway (taking care of last minute details on a bridesmaid dress). I decided 25 doesn't feel any different from 24 except I do get to pay less for my car insurance now so I guess it has an added feature or two.

My good friend Tom joined the blog world. Go check his blog out. The way his mind works, it ought to be pretty interesting.

Thanks to some good advice and a couple of good suggestions from one of my older, wiser and sexier friends, my boyfriend and I are mending our relationship after a month that left us on the verge of breaking up. Nothing is perfect and of course it never will be but at least we are back on a path that may lead to a happy ending some day-if that is what's meant to be.

Work has been so very hectic. John and I have lots of new cases a couple of which should turn out to be very interesting. Last Friday, I even had one of our clients call and warn me that we should proceed with caution in a particular case because the plaintiff is more than a little disturbed. The guy actually told me that if there was anyone who would walk into an office and shoot us, it would be this guy. That isn't really the kind of thing one enjoys hearing from a client, but it certainly keeps things interesting.

Sunday, I went target shooting with Brent. We had a good time and it was a great day for it. Shooting is a great way to relieve a little stress and have fun with friend(s) all at once. I was pretty pleased with how well I shot, however, I don't think Brent was too pleased with how well he did. I probably shouldn't mention that he got out-shot with his own gun.

Work today was fine. I have so much work to get done and nowhere near enough time to get it all done. I figure if I work until 8:00 or 9:00 most nights this week, I might put a dent in my "to do" list. At least it's good practice for the future.

2002-10-09T23:22:00.000-04:00

In just under 1 hour, I will be 25 years old. I haven't been in the best of moods lately for several reasons but a hug, a smile and some caring words tonight from a dear friend made me feel so much better. And although I am several years younger than my friends, I have learned and am grateful for lots. As such, I'm would like to take a moment to share with you a few things and people for which/whom I am grateful:

1. I am grateful for parents who pushed me to always do my best and who have always loved me even when we weren't getting along.

2. I am grateful for my very good friends, Dodd, Brent and Tom. My very favourite three guys. You all are the best. You always believe in me and support me even in my craziest moments. You make me laugh, you're there when I'm sad and you always know how to make me feel better.

3. I am grateful for a little brother, not so little anymore but still younger, who has turned out to be a fine person and a friend.

4. I am grateful to finally be in a good relationship with a great guy who loves and supports me (despite our difficulties right now).

5. I am grateful to have a job that I love. A job where I am appreciated and one that has helped start my career.

6. I am grateful for my whole family because I've learned so much about myself and the kind of life I want and person I want to be by interacting with them.

7. I am grateful to be alive and healthy.

8. I am grateful for all my friends. I have said before that I have the best friends and I do. It is in my friends that I find comfort, support and a unconditional love.

9. I am grateful for everything good and bad that has happened in my life because they all make me who I am today.

10. I am grateful for all the things I have been fortunate to have (although anyone who has helped me move wishes I had less).

If you took the time to read my list, I hope it made you think of the people and things in your life for which/whom you are grateful. As for what I've learned, well, I've learned that you should never pass up the opportunity to let someone know that you care about them because you never know when you might not have another chance. I've learned that love is a gift. I've learned that you should make the most out of everyday.

Someone I knew once told me: "Remember the past, live in the present and hope for the future." I think that's probably good advice for the next 25 years.

2002-10-09T22:47:00.000-04:00

Getting better with age. Happy Birthday, Brent!!!

2002-10-03T19:04:00.000-04:00

Random Thoughts:

When you're hurting, why do you hurt the ones closest to you?

Love sucks.

Work is good.

Where is Brent? I miss him already.

My birthday is a week from today and I am dreading it.

Did I mention that love sucks.

I hate that my probably soon to be exboyfriend since we aren't speaking is almost always right.

Vodka sounds good.

A cigarette sounds good too.

I have to go to the grocery store and I hate that.

Work is very good and well, at least it's not raining.

2002-10-02T22:51:00.000-04:00

The old saying "misery loves company" must be true because it seems that at the times in my life when I am hurting the most and really need my friends or boyfriend, that is the time I pull away and at the same time, push others as far away as possible. Life might some times be easier if I talked or opened up to someone.

2002-09-26T00:01:00.000-04:00

The statement "call if you need to" is, IMO, a very clever way to deter someone from calling you. How often do you really *need* to call someone? In an emergency situation, you may need to call someone or in a life and death situation, but on a daily basis it is probably not that often that you need to call someone. On a daily basis it is much more likely that you *want* or *would like* to talk with someone but it is doubtful that you *need* to.

Therefore, I have decided that this qualifying language is particularly important when deciding whether you should call someone or not. You basically have to take a look at what you would like to talk with the person about and then decide if it is serious enough to rise to the level of needing to talk about it. Since most things are not going to rise to that level then you have just deterred the person from calling you with one simple statement.

So remember, the next time you don't want someone to call, tell them to "call if they need to" becausae by the time they figure out whether they need to or not, it won't matter.

2002-09-25T09:32:00.000-04:00

Okay, so tomorrow turned out to be a week later, but I'm busy so get over it. Anyway, it took me a bit more time to think of how I should descirbe Dodd. Before you get to the list, I would just like to say that I am not responsible for any inferences made from these statements nor am I responsible for any comments regarding the list or interpretations thereof. This is solely my impression and/or facts about Dodd that I think to be true and accurate based on my knowledge of him and the time that I have spent with him. Again, this list is in no particular order. That said, here goes:

1. He drives a big truck;

2. He owns a little red car (previously Brent's little red car);

3. He is a real gentleman (too few of those around these days);

4. He has a very odd sense of humour;

5. He drinks Dr. Pepper;

6. He has a soothing voice;

7. He looks damn good in a tuxedo;

8. He's almost always right (at least when it comes to me and that is very annoying);

9. He attracts women from the deeper end of the insanity pool;

10. He has big feet;

11. He is a gun carrying Republican;

12. He looks damn good in a tuxedo;

13. He has wonderful friends;

14. He is a sexy smoker;

15. He is a great friend;

This list could go on but I will stop there. If you want to know more then read his blog.

2002-09-19T00:22:00.000-04:00

I am blogging tonight because I promised my dear friend Brent that I would. That being said, I thought I would blog about Brent. So here's my abbreviated list of Brent's finer points in no particular order:

1. He's a smart ass;

2. He's very funny;

3. He has a great motorcycle;

4. He has a great family (God only knows how he got so lucky);

5. He has one fabulous pair of blue jeans (there's nothing like a man in the perfect pair of blue jeans);

6. He is a gun nut;

7. He's a republican;

8. He has one fabulous pair of blue jeans;

9. He's a Libra (like me, actually he's birthday is the day before mine);

10. He's a good friend who always knows how to make you smile;

11. He's fun;

12. He's fairly sexy for an old guy;

13. He has one fabulous pair of blue jeans;

14. He doesn't give a shit if you like him or not; and

15. He has one fabulous pair of blue jeans.

Of course, there are lots of other reasons why Brent is one of my favourite people, but you get the idea. Hmmm....that was kind of fun--maybe I'll describe someone else tomorrow. I promise to try to blog more regularly, Brent.

2002-09-09T08:31:00.000-04:00

Jefferson County Judge Executive Rebecca Jackson will be the guest speaker at the Jefferson County Young Republicans meeting tonight, September 9, 2002 at 7:00 p.m. at Mark's Feedstore on Bardstown RD. It will be a good time to ask questions to this lady who has a pretty good chance of becoming KY's next governor.

2002-09-02T23:03:00.000-04:00

I am back from D.C. I got back late Saturday night. I didn't do much yesterday or today. I am not blogging much right now b/c I sliced my finger open yesterday and spent part of the day in the ER finding out if I would need stitches or not. Well I didn't need stitches but I do have one bandaged finger which makes typing a little difficult.

D.C. was okay. The funeral was nice I guess as far as funerals go. I spent some time with some friends and my friend's family before coming back which was sort of strange. It had a surreal quality to it. I am pretty much exhausted. I still have a lot of unpacking to do so my apartment is a mess of boxes. I just keep reminding myself that this too shall pass.

2002-08-25T23:33:00.000-04:00

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust...

I will be traveling to Washington D.C. on Wednesday morning to pay my respects and bury a very special friend. My friend was killed sometime very early this morning in a foreign country while serving our Country. That's all the details I know right now and don't really ever expect to know more than that. I'll be spending Wednesday with his family and his funeral is on Thursday. I seriously doubt that I will be blogging this week as I really don't know what to say or what to think right now. I'll post something when I get back. In the meantime, please say a prayer for his family and me. Rest in peace Reid.

2002-08-22T16:19:00.000-04:00

This is a first, I am blogging from work. I am in the process of moving. I'm tired and busy so I don't really have much to say right now. The movers were great. I have a few small/breakable things left to move, but that's it. I really like me new apartment. I have to get back to researching and contacting oncologists for work. I'll post more later, maybe.

2002-08-18T22:29:00.000-04:00

Packing is a bitch! Luckily, since I didn't plan on being in Louisville for more than a year after I moved back, a lot of my stuff is still packed. I hate packing. Thank God for the movers that will actually have to do all the hard work.

2002-08-18T03:50:00.000-04:00

I think perhaps I have my own straight version of Will from Will and Grace. I just forget it sometimes.

2002-08-15T23:21:00.000-04:00

I love the television show Will & Grace. It is one of the very few shows I watch fairly regularly. I could careless about most of the characters on the show but I love the characters of Grace and Will and how they interact. I think I need a Will. It would be very cool to have a guy who's your very best friend to whom you can tell everything/anything, not have any secrets and talk to about anything. Girl friends are nice but guy friends are the best. Girls have a tendency to be emotional and irrational about things. You can almost always depend on a guy friend to be rational and logical in a moment of crisis/problem/panic, whatever. I am perfectly capable of being emotional and irrational all by myself so why do I need anymore of that. However, I think the only problem would be that Will is gay and since I love politics, it might be hard to find a Republican gay guy to be my Will. We'd spend all our time fighting about politics or other things which wouldn't be good. So I guess really just a somewhat similar version of Will would be nice. OTOH, I already think I have the best guy friends (and girl friends) around but the show is still fun to watch.

2002-08-15T20:51:00.000-04:00

I will soon be moving. I finished my lease papers on a new apartment this week. Currently, I live at Cypress Pointe Apartments, which turned out to be not such a great place to live. The apartment itself is fine but the parking and especially the management stink. I am amazed that apartments here ever get rented when you consider the combined competency level of the management is that of a two year old. So I am very happy to be moving.

I'm going to start moving this coming week and the movers are moving my furniture and some stuff next weekend. Overall, I have like ten days to move or rather for ten days I will have two apartments. I actually like that because I won't have to move everything at once so I'm hoping to eliminate some mess and stress.

My new home will be at Camden Meadows. I looked all over for an apartment no in an apartment complex. I really would have liked a place in the Highlands or off Brownsboro Road but after three weeks of looking, I just didn't find anything that I truly liked for the right price. I really fell in love with the 1 bedroom apartment at Camden Meadows. It has a nicer/larger deck than my current apartment and it has a fireplace. The apartment community and the apartments remind me more of my apartment in Atlanta. My apartment in Atlanta was one of the very few things I loved in Atlanta. Camden Meadows also happens to be where John lives. His apartment is across the parking lot from mine. It goes without saying that him living there was just one more thing I liked about the complex.

Anyway, I am excited about moving especially since I am having movers do a lot of it this time. Camden Meadows will be the fifth place I've lived in two years so I hope I like it because even though I'm happy about the new apartment, I don't like moving.

2002-08-11T22:45:00.000-04:00

Thank God the weekend is over. Friday night was pretty good. I went out to eat with a friend and then over to a party at another friend's house. The party was small but quite entertaining. Then Saturday, I went to a Young Republican cookout. It was semi-fun, but if the brother and sister pair hosting the party had told one more family story, I think I would have pulled my hair out. Of course, when you're the Chairman it's hard to be rude or do anything other than appear to be interested. So Saturday night was okay but could have ended a couple hours earlier than it did. I woke up sometime Sunday morning with an extremely bad headache (not alcohol related--I did not have anything alcoholic to drink all weekend), which kept me up most of the night and miserable well into the morning. I think I finally fell asleep around 10:00 a.m.

I also found an apartment this weekend. My lease is up at my current apartment in a couple/three weeks and I really didn't want to stay here. I had initially looked in the Highlands and Crescent Hill areas but haven't really found anything I like. Well, I did this weekend. It's not in either of those areas but I did like the first time I saw it. I have a couple of appointments to see other apartments on Monday and Tuesday, but unless they are really great, I think I'll be moving to Camden Meadows. That also happens to be where John lives. And all of my friends will be very happy to know that I found a cheap but pretty good moving company.

2002-08-05T20:34:00.000-04:00

Did you ever notice that sometimes the simplest things can turn out to be so difficult or complicated? For example, planning a trip or vacation can start out so simple but end up so complicated that you don't even want to go anymore. You know, you start out with this pretty simple idea of what you want to do, where you want to go and with whom you want to go. The idea itself is great but then the complications start creeping in on you and suddenly it is easier and a lot less of a hassle to just stay home. Why do things seem to always end up so damn complicated. Just once, I'd like to have an idea/plan that remained as simple as I had intented.

I suppose if things in life and/or our ideas always turned out as we imagined them then life would be pretty dull. I suppose if the usual is for things to be complicated then we'll be grateful when things go the way we want. In the meantime, I think I'll just keep asking God for serenity.

2002-08-05T20:12:00.000-04:00

"Decision is a risk rooted in the courage of being free."--Paul Tillich

2002-08-01T22:54:00.000-04:00

What a day. I left work at 10:00 p.m. and I am so tired. It was a pretty cool day though. I spent 2 1/2 hours this morning at the Courthouse. Closing arguments in a huge medical malpractice case were today so almost everyone in the firm went to watch the senior partner do his closing. We got there at 9:30 this morning and they were still arguing about Jury Instructions so it was pretty interesting to get to watch some of that. Then Ron, senior partner, did his closing argument and it was great. He is by no means perfect and he might mess up a name or something but he doesn't miss a beat where it counts. He is so smooth, calm and collected. The jury was glued to him. It was very cool. I am very excited about working somewhere where I can learn from people who are truly great at what they do, like Ron.

2002-07-31T23:07:00.000-04:00

I am excited about tomorrow. The trial that has been going on at work is finished or will be as of tomorrow. I am spending the morning watching closing arguments. Yeah! I am very thankful to work in a Firm that will allow me to spend part of my time in Court so that I can learn.

2002-07-31T23:03:00.000-04:00

I would like to know where it is written that I have to be in a good mood *every*day. To the best of my knowledge no such commandment exists. But for some reason my family always expects me to be in a good mood. Now, anyone who reads my blog knows that I'm not in a good mood all the time. I get hurt, I'm sad, angry, annoyed, happy etc... (FYI, my family does not know this web blog exists.) For yesterday and today, I have been annoyed. Almost everything and everyone has annoyed me for the last two days with few exceptions. I'm sure there is something in the last two days that has triggered my current mood but I don't know what that is.

So my mom calls me tonight, leaves a message and I call her back. After we talk for about five minutes, I start telling her about the truly imcompetent people who run my apartment complex and what they've done this time. Now incompetence happens to be one of my biggest pet peeves. My mother proceeds to tell me that I need to be more calm and more passive. She says I'm too young to be annoyed by anything. Needless to say that annoyed me even more so I cut that phone call short. For some people and things, I have great patience. Lectures from my family and incompetence are two things for which I have little patience now. Thank God for caller ID and voicemail.

2002-07-30T22:54:00.000-04:00

I am happy to say that I am no longer hurt and sad. One conversation cleared the situation up. I guess that's how it is with friends; sometimes you just need to talk about something for it to go away. So with regard to that whole situation I feel much better.

2002-07-28T02:23:00.000-04:00

I realize that I've been pretty vague about what it is that is bothering me; especially since this was pointed out to me a few times at the Louisville blog party tonight. However, as opposed to screaming and yelling at my boyfriend for something that has nothing to do with him and to keep myself from crying anymore, I've needed a place to vent my feelings--my blog. To sum up what's bothering me, I will say that I got a reaction from someone, a look, with regard to my decision about law school (i.e. waiting for U of L, if I don't get to go this year) that I wasn't expecting. It was a look that I've seen a lot in my life but usually from my father who's always been disappointed in me and the decisions I make. It was not a reaction I had expected from this person, a friend, and therefore it left me sad and hurt.

So you see, it was partly my own expectations that contributed to the situation. Expectations can get you in a lot of trouble. At least this person didn't tell me that I could try medicine or get my MBA , if the law thing didn't work out, which is what my father said. That reaction from my father was expected and one that I am so used to, it doesn't bother me anymore.

Yes, I've been pretty down, but I had a good time at the blog party. Brent has a nice office which makes a pretty good party location and all the guys involved were great hosts. It was an evening of much needed fun and laughter. I am glad that I went and glad that so many bloggers showed up.

The sadness and hurt will pass eventually; it always does. And like I said, I know this person well enough to know that the hurt wasn't intentional. Maybe I'll talk to this person about what happened and maybe I won't. In all honesty, this person probably isn't even aware of what happened or that they hurt me. Life goes on.

2002-07-25T22:26:00.000-04:00

Actually, I'm glad this week is almost over b/c right now I am in a pretty shitty mood. Work is the same which is good b/c I love my job and it has nothing to do with my current mood. I'm just sad and hurt right now. I have a friend who would say "this too shall pass" and it will but it might take a little time. It at least helps to know that the hurt wasn't intentional. Now, as I spent most of last night in tears, I'm going to try and get some sleep. Things sometimes look better when one is rested and it's a new day.

2002-07-25T22:09:00.000-04:00

Only one more day of work this week....yeah! I love having weekends off.

2002-07-25T00:31:00.000-04:00

Did you ever notice how a look on someone's face can mean so much or rather hurt so much?

2002-07-25T00:07:00.000-04:00

So I made my decision to wait for U of L Law School. There last round of admission is this week and either I get in or I wait until next fall. After much consideration and a lot of praying, I turned down California Western for several reasons all of which had to do with me and me making the choices I think are best for me instead of listening to other people. This was not a decision that I made easily or lightly but it was my decision to make, and I am the one who has to live with the consequences good or bad.

2002-07-23T23:06:00.000-04:00

I'm stressed. I'm glad tomorrow is Wednesday b/c more often than not, I get to see a couple of my favourite people on Wednesday. I left work at 8 p.m. tonight. Thank God I love my job. I'm off to sleep now.

2002-07-22T21:21:00.000-04:00

So it's 9:15 p.m. and I'm getting ready to go back to work for at least a couple of hours. John is still at work and called his ever loyal paralegal to help him, of course, since I am also his girlfriend I couldn't refuse. So I got home at 7:15, changed my clothes, blogged, ate dinner, and then realized that I forgot to go to the Post Office. So I went to Crittendon Drive to the Post office and got home fifteen minutes ago. Thank God the five advil I took kicked in and my headache has diminshed. Now the job I love and the guy calls. So here I go again.

2002-07-22T19:38:00.000-04:00

My head feels like it is going to split right down the center. Today was a very busy/annoying day at work. I had lots of annoying phone calls from annoying people who needed to be calling their own damn attorneys instead of mine and by extension me. Someone needs to tell them that if they expect better service, call their attorney; he gets paid to listen to them bitch and moan...We/I don't. Maybe when my head stops hurting I'll get some of the work I brought home done or maybe it will wait until tomorrow. I'm taking advil and laying down.

2002-07-19T18:35:00.000-04:00

Yeah!!!! The weekend is finally here. I'm not doing much this weekend, which actually sounds quite nice. I don't feel so well at the moment but I think I'm just tired. John is off to Illinois in a little while for the weekend and I am not going for a change. He didn't particularly like the idea of me not going but he understood me wanting to stay home. Well, I'm going to go spend a few moments alone with my boyfriend, have something to drink, and rest. Then perhaps I'll find something to get into later tonight.

2002-07-16T22:55:00.000-04:00

I love the book Atlas Shurgged by Ayn Rand. I am currently reading it for the second time. I think it could be my very favourite book.

2002-07-16T22:47:00.000-04:00

So I've spent the last couple of hours thinking that I should re-evaluate my relationship with my boyfriend. Don't get me wrong. I love John and we're good together (when we're together), but I had a conversation recently that has really made me stop and think. John and I make a fantastic team at work; we're are without a doubt the best attorney/paralegal team in the firm, and that's great b/c it makes going to work and being at work fun. And up until now, I thought I liked that our lives had remained so independent of each other. We spend some weekends together and most nights but outside of work we each still do our own thing most of the time. I'm just not sure how much we depend on or need each other.

I think I've spent the better part of my life making sure I wasn't dependent upon on anyone especially my family. I don't think I want to spend the rest of my life not depending on someone. I like the idea of depending on someone. Someone who's going to be there whether I need them or not. I could be wrong and this could be the best way to have a relationship or a good one at least.

In some small way, I like to think that I want a "partner" but only in the sense of I want us to be equals in the relationship. Beyond that, it sounds like a business relationship. Perhaps working in a law firm has given me a different view of the word partners; partners, for me, is a business relationship. So I suppose I want to be an equal in a relationship but I don't want to be so independent of each other that I find myself leading a life where that person, my boyfriend/husband isn't included.

I suppose at heart I am still a bit of a romantic who believes in true love and really wants to find it. I want to find someone that I can be dependent upon and someone who depends upon me. I want someone to share my whole life with and maybe that's John but right now, I'm thinking maybe it isn't. I don't know, but then again, who the hell does.

2002-07-15T22:13:00.000-04:00

"Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake." --Victor Hugo

2002-07-14T23:29:00.000-04:00

I just got home. I'm tired and I have nothing to say. I'll blog tomorrow. In the meantime, say a prayer for my very good friend Tom who is going in for surgery in the morning. Later....

2002-07-04T11:18:00.000-04:00

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!

I hope everyone has a great day.

2002-06-30T14:24:00.000-04:00

He's home!!!

2002-06-28T22:46:00.000-04:00

I am excited. My boyfriend gets home from vacation tomorrow night. He left for vacation in Mrytle Beach last Friday. It was a good week. I think the time apart has done us both good and he's definitely in a better mood than he was a week ago. In the two weeks prior to him leaving for vacation, we had both become very stressed and pretty ragged around the edges. He got over being jealous and we had a wonderful conversation (which started with him apologizing and was followed by me apologizing). Actually, we've had several really good conversations this week. The other great thing is that we've both gotten to relax a little (him more than me but he needed it more). I missed him more than I thought I would so I can't wait to see him.

2002-06-23T21:44:00.000-04:00

Don't know what to think, go ponder a few Random Thoughts, and who knows where your mind will take you.

2002-06-23T21:37:00.000-04:00

A thought for today:

"Nothing can bring you peace but yourself."--Ralph Waldo Emerson

2002-06-23T21:36:00.000-04:00

In case I haven't mentioned it lately, I am grateful for my friends. I consider myself to be very lucky when it comes to friends. My family did Father's Day today because my grandmother had to be taken to the ER last Sunday morning. She's okay and home now but it sort of put a damper on the day. I'm not that big into things like Father's Day right now anyway, which has more to do with me than my Dad. Anyway, everything with my family is such an ordeal. Somehow, I don't think my family thinks about me ever being tired or not feeling well or sick or needing help/needing a break. Some of that is probably my own fault because my family never sees the side of me that needs help or needs anyone else. Hell, they probably don't even know that person exists.

Okay, so you're wondering how all that ties in together, right? Friday, I thought my family was actually going to make things easier on me and help me with something. It turned out that they made a very small thing much more difficult and as inconvenient as possible but after a very hard, tiring week and a tiring ordeal with my family, my friends were there to make it better. So I am grateful for friends who accept me as I am. I am grateful for friends who make life better by just being there. Friends who make me laugh and who know that I'm not as independent as I like to appear. I am grateful for friends who care.

2002-06-23T21:10:00.000-04:00

So my boyfriend has now been on vacation for about a day and a half and I miss him. I was thinking this really shouldn't be different because I'm used to him going to be with his son in Illinois almost every weekend, but I guess it's just knowing that he won't be home tonight. I won't see him until next Saturday night. I suppose the time away from each other might do us good. I know he needs the rest. However, I am regretting that I didn't go with him. I love the beach and the ocean, but alas I said no when he asked. My primary reason for saying no is that I cannot afford a week off work without pay. My budget is tight enough as it is and I refused to take his expense check to make up for the difference. I guess I am bothered too because we weren't exactly on great terms when he left. At least he's called since being there which makes me feel a little better, but at the moment I seem to be the insecure one--imagining him on a beach with all the cute little blondes in bikinis (thanks to Dodd I have a real clear picture of what those blondes look like too). Okay, anyway, I'm going to chill out and not worry about it because whatever happens, happens. C'est la vie!

2002-06-19T00:34:00.000-04:00

Guys can be so irritating. Why is it that you can go along day after day and never seem to have a jealous bone in your body, and then all of a sudden at a moment least expected decide to be jealous? Why bother to feel threatened by someone who is most obviously not a threat? What's the deal really? Do guys have a six sense about when to be jealous and when not to be? Do you encounter another guy talking with your girlfirend and even though you know she could not be interested in that guy, you just decide to be jealous because you think he might be interested?

Seems to me that being jealous for no reason is a waste of time. Or maybe you're just having a bad day and being a little jealous and ticked at your girlfriend makes the day complete. Of course, maybe it means you need a little bit of attention.

2002-06-18T19:28:00.000-04:00

Courtesy of Dodd, I took this survey and found out which cities best suited me. The following are the top ten:

1. Norfolk, Virginia
2. Seattle, Washington
3. Long Island, New York
4. Louisville, Kentucky
5. Charlotte, North Carolina
6. Nashville, Tennessee
7. Richmond, Virginia
8. Wilmington, Delaware
9. Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
10. St. Louis, Missouri

I did not select a price range for a home since I have no idea what my price range might be someday, but I did select a rent rate of $600-$799.

2002-06-13T23:22:00.000-04:00

There's nothing like dinner with friends to improve one's mood. I had dinner with friends tonight and it was just what I needed. Although I could have used some serious conversation time with a couple of my friends, the light and amusing conversation was rather refreshing. I also ended up getting a few good laughs and of course when the conversation turned to persons heavily under the influence of alcohol, I was reminded of my 21st birthday (the first and only time I was ever completely wasted to put it mildly). It was a nice dinner with friends and my mood is much improved.

2002-06-11T23:26:00.000-04:00

As of today, I am working for three attorneys. Currently, our office is short one paralegal/secretary so I am filling in as Chris C.'s temporary secretary. It means more work for me but Chris is the one attorney in the office that I hadn't gotten to know because he tends to keep to himself. After one day I will say he is a pretty nice guy and will be okay to work for. It also gives me a chance to work with him which might now have happened otherwise.

2002-06-10T21:45:00.000-04:00

As of today, I think I have a roommate. My friend, Jennifer Ashley, and I have decided to get a two bedroom apartment. I probably won't be moving far. I would like to live in the highlands but I would truly hate to give up the sheer convenience of my current residence. She and I are going to look at the two bedroom/two baths here probably towards the end of this week. I decided on the idea of getting a roommate simply to save money. I'm really not at home that often anyway so I don't see continuing to pay rent for a one bedroom. So at least for the next couple of months, I will have a roommate and when my lease is up in August and after I've made my decision about law school then we'll take it from there. Since law school could take me out-of-state yet again, she and I are not making any long term roommate plans, but it will be nice to have a bit of extra money in the meantime. We'll see.

2002-06-08T23:53:00.000-04:00

I think I'll blog some more....

The last couple of days have had me thinking about what kind of a mother I might be. My friend Tom seems to think I'll be a good mother just because I'm pretty good at everything I do and I'm very responsible. I guess I can see his point, but the idea of being a mom is scary. In general, I don't like kids. I like John's son, Bryce, but that's different. Bryce lives in a different state and he doesn't belong to me. Bryce is also thirteen years old so he doesn't require a lot of work so to speak. He pretty much entertains himself and he's at the age where hanging out with his friends takes up most of his free time.

Baby(ies), OTOH, are a totally different story. A baby requires all of your attention because it's totally dependant upon you to take care of it. I look at my mom and think could I ever be like her. I don't think so. I am too career oriented right now. There are some people who I think are just meant to be mom's, like my friend, Lee. Lee is totally the mom type. A husband and kids are the two things she wants most in life. Whereas I want those things, I also want a career and I want the career first.

Someday, I think it will be nice to have a family, but not now. A family just isn't high on my priority list at this stage in my life. But I guess you never know and life is just full of little surprises.

2002-06-08T23:39:00.000-04:00

So I don't blog much anymore as a couple of my friends have pointed out to me, but as I've said before it's because I don't feel as though I have much to say on a daily basis. However, tonight I feel like blogging so here goes.

My work situation has changed just a little. The Firm decided we could be more productive if we worked on teams so the entire office (attorneys and staff) have been divided up into three teams. I am on the team which is being headed up by the senior partner. The only real change for me is that I no longer work for Matt. I do still work for John and now I work for Deborah. Deborah is one of two female attorneys in our office; she and I have become pretty good friends so I am pretty happy about working for her. Other than that change, work is the same. I still love it and I'm getting good experience.

As for my decision about law school this fall well I haven't made a decision yet. I have some options, which is good, but I don't know yet what I'm going to do. I'll let you know when I decide.

2002-06-06T00:01:00.000-04:00

"If you always do what you always did then you'll always get what you always got." --anonymous

2002-05-30T00:16:00.000-04:00

Even if I don't blog, I like to update my imood. However, I realized the other day that my imood was irritated for a week or more. I wasn't really irritated that whole time I promise. It was probably quite the opposite in fact. So now I'm anxious or nervous or a combination of the two. Otherwise life is good and I'm excited about the present and future.

Oh and my very dear friend Lorie is engaged to be married. Another single friend gone. She's marrying a great guy; I hope I am as lucky one day.

C'est la vie!

2002-05-20T23:10:00.000-04:00

So we had a great time in Las Vegas. As I mentioned before, it was my first time there and it was great. I will definitely go back. John and I arrived in Vegas on Thursday night and checked into our hotel. We stayed at The Mirage, which was fantastic. I especially loved the Dolphins and White Tiger habitats. Friday night we had dinner at Le Cirque located at the Bellagio. It was a fantastic restaurant serving french cuisine in an elegant and romantic atmosphere. French food is something we don't eat very very rarely so it was a nice treat and something different. We had heard how good Le Cirque was from the managing partner at the firm. Saturday, John played golf while I enjoyed some quality time in the spa. We took a couple of walks, did a bit of shopping--John bought me a Gucci wallet/key chain type thing. I also spent some time reading and since I took along my laptop, I worked on my blog a bit. (I am much happier with the new look.) Saturday, we had dinner in the hotel. We, of course, did a bit of gambling and both of us actually came out ahead although John did much better than I. However, he also bet more than I did. Sunday we didn't do much. We had breakfast at a little cafe, took a walk, and then caught our plane home in the mid-afternoon.

As several of my friends have already asked, yes we saw several wedding chapels but no, we did not get married. Although the thought may have crossed our minds. Just for the record, I am not about to miss the chance to have big wedding. I only plan to get married once and I want a huge wedding/reception. In all honesty, I am too much a romantic at heart to run off and get married in Las Vegas; especially since Tom gave me the idea recently of having a "Man" of honor instead of a "Maid" of honor.

We got back to Louisville a little after midnight on Sunday or rather Monday depending on how you look at it. We had a great time. Although I wish we could have hooked up with Brent. It was nice to get away for a couple/few days and thanks to John's lovely parents who paid for the trip, it basically didn't cost us anything.

2002-05-19T18:29:00.000-04:00

A quick post to say hello from Phoenix, Arizona. John and I are on our way back from fabulous Las Vegas. The airport here sucks, but no more so than the Louisville airport. We had a great weekend. Brent was also in Las Vegas this weekend and we were supposed to hook up for dinner one night but he must have gotten lost riding a Harley through the desert or jumping out of an airplane and never returned his messages. We had a fantastic time. It was my first time in Vegas. We stayed at the The Mirage and I have to run now so more details later.

In the meantime, go see Echo's new look; it's cool!

2002-05-12T23:14:00.000-04:00

Life is about the same. I spent the day with my Mother because it was Mother's Day. Work was busy last week and I expect it to be so this week. I have a Jefferson Co. Young Republicans meeting tomorrow night. Derby last week was fun and John won some money. There's not much to say. I'm tired and getting ready to go to bed because I get up at the crack of dawn to go to work. It's storming outside. I bought the new Ocean's Eleven this week; I love George Clooney and Brad Pitt isn't half bad either.

Maybe I'll have more to say tomorrow, or maybe not. Who knows. I just don't have much to say these days.

2002-05-02T18:39:00.000-04:00

I am headed out to dinner with Tom. Dodd is a bum and won't go out with us. He would rather spend time with his computer and play Anarchy Online. Whatever. John is at still at work preparing his KY Supreme Court Brief, which I know will be fucking fantastic when its finished. I've said fuck a lot today; it's such a versatile word. I am a little stressed. I have lots to do tomorrow. We get to leave at noon tomorrow from work. John and I are going to the Derby. I think I am on the verge of having had too much caffeine today. Now I am running late. Gotta go.

2002-05-02T00:27:00.000-04:00

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not to twist them to fit our own image."
--Thomas Merton

2002-05-02T00:13:00.000-04:00

I participated in a discussion tonight that ended up being centered around trust and the idea of unconditional love. Who do we trust and why? Why do we expect unconditional love and do we ever actually experience unconditional love. I realized as I sat there and listened to others talk before commenting that I these two things are, IMO, closely related.

The way I see it is that if I don't fully trust someone then their love for me can never be unconditional because they don't know me; they know and base their love on what I allow them to know, which is more than likely going to be what I know they will approve of. This brings me back to the question of who do we trust and why? I have one friend that I trust implicitly, without a doubt, 100% trust, but I have no idea why. I have two or three other friends that I trust almost as much but not quite (with more time maybe), but again I don't know why? I don't really know how to explain the distinction but it exists. The rest of my friends, well, I don't know. Beyond those three or four people, there are all kinds of distinctions that I make as to what I will tell anyone of them. As for my family, that's a whole other story; finding someone in my family that I trusted or who really knew me would be the exception.

So I think perhaps we are meant to find one, two or three people that we really trust. People who know all or at least enough about us to actually love us unconditionally. It is with these people that trust and unconditional love go hand in hand. We trust them because there is no fear that they won't love us tomorrow and because of that love we trust them enough to be ourselves. Personally, I am grateful for all my friends but I am even more grateful that I have those friends/people in my life.

2002-04-25T00:21:00.000-04:00

"The only danger in Friendship is that it will end."
--Henry David Thoreau

2002-04-24T23:43:00.000-04:00

The last year and a half of my life has been probably the hardest of my life and I think I've said before that I don't regret it because it's made me a stronger and better person. In the last few months, I've really tried to learn to take care of myself first instead of always putting others first and being everyone else's problem solver. Tonight someone told me something that to some might sound like common sense but to me it's something that I am really having to work on and learn to do and that something was that happiness comes from within.

What am I rambling on about, you ask? Well, I have some tough decisions to make in the next couple of months. As some of you know I have been on hiatus from law school this year for various reason which I won't go into, but I can now admit that even though this hiatus wasn't what I thought I wanted or needed it has worked out for the best especially with me getting a job at a law firm. I've done all the paperwork and sent all my applications in an effort to go to either U of L or UK for my last years of law school (I can always go back to Georgia State). I also applied to California Western which is in San Diego, California. I originally applied to CW the first time around and was offered a scholarship but for several very stupid reasons I went to Georgia State instead. Well, I haven't heard from UK or U of L but I did hear from CW and they offered me a nice scholarship once again. So my decisions begin.

Now to tie all the above together. Happiness comes from within. I've always had a tendancy to try to find happiness by pleasing others and trying to make others happy which ultimately left me miserable. To some degree I have managed in the last few months to start making decisions based on what I think will make me happy and at the moment I am a pretty happy and somewhat content person. However, there is at the front of my mind the knowledge of the faith some very important people in my life have in me. Now granted this is not a large group of people and in fact is very very small, but I have a deep rooted fear that they will be disappointed in me and my decisions and I can't get around not caring what they think. Perhaps I am underestimating these persons by thinking they won't respect my decisions, be proud of me for doing what I think is best for me and for doing what will make me happy and love me anyway, but my life hasn't been filled with a lot of acceptance or unconditional love and support. In essence my life and my family have taught me the opposite.

The decision I have to make is where to go or what to do come fall. It's something I am thinking long and hard about and frankly at this moment in time, I am not sure what my decision will be or where it will lead me, but I know I have to make this decision for me. And as hard as it might be and as much as I want to, I can't let the fear of disappointing someone guide my decision.

I can't let fear rule me and I know it has started to because I've seen myself pulling away from people and not talking to people because I'm afraid of what their reaction will be. So perhaps this post is my start at overcoming that fear and who knows where that will lead.

2002-04-21T13:52:00.000-04:00

I have had a very nice few days in which I got to spend a lot of time with different friends.

Thursday was a nice day at work because we basically got the whole day off. We had to work until 10:30 a.m. then the firm took the entire office out to lunch at Brownings and to the River Bats game. After the game we got the rest of the day off. It was a really enjoyable time and we all, staff and attorneys, just got to hangout and spend time outside the office together.

Friday, Dodd passed the bar. Then Brent, Dodd , Threse, Tom and I had dinner at Furlongs. (Thanks for dinner Brent.) It was a nice evening even though our waitress was a bit flighty, so to speak.

Yesterday, my good friends Todd and Sarah were married in Danville. It was a beautiful ceremony (not too long but long enough to be meaningful). Sarah looked beautiful and Todd almost cried. The reception was at the Danville Country Club and was also very nice. I will say this wedding had the most diverse group of people at it. Sarah's Dad is from the U.S. and her mom is British. Sarah is a U.S. citizen, was born in England, and grew up in Belgium. So there were a lot of her mom's family from London present and family friends from Belgium. Sarah has triple citizenship. The maid of Honor was Irish and lives in London, one of the other Bridesmaids was Austrian but goes to school in Scotland. There were a lot of people from Washington D.C. in attendance b/c that is where Todd and Sarah live. Sarah works for the Secretary of Labor and Todd works for the Department of Energy, if I recall correctly. Also in attendance were several of our friends from our College Republican days. All in all it was a great time. The Europeans really got into the dancing so that was fun to watch and they got everyone else into it. It was a beautiful day for two beautiful friends. I wish them all the best.

Today my plan is to do nothing and so far it is going well.

2002-04-19T20:04:00.000-04:00

Dodd passed the bar. I never doubted that he would, but I did get anxious enough today that I finally had to call him to find out for sure. It just figures that today would be the day our internet would be down *all* day at work. I am very proud of him and I hope he finds a Paralegal/Secretary as great as me to make his life easier. Cheers Dodd.

2002-04-11T23:24:00.000-04:00

We went to see David Copperfield tonight, which was really cool. I have always loved David Copperfield, and his illusions always amaze me. I thought they wouldn't be as good up close and personal but even from the third row, but they were even better. I couldn't begin to figure out how he did any of the illusions. Fantastic! And not to mention, I think he's very sexy.

2002-04-11T23:18:00.000-04:00

To be or not to be....a democrat!?!

Everybody knows I have this boyfriend, John, who I love dearly and he is really great. He surprised me with the news that he had a 13 year old son. I got to know the kid and he and I are buddies. So the whole kid thing has worked out We like the same types of music, movies, food, etc... Taken as a whole John seemed to be almost the perfect guy for me, but there was one little lingering problem. How could I possibly be this in love with and have this much in common with someone who's a democrat.

Did I mention that John has a weird sense of humor and loves to mess with me. Months ago, he off handedly mentions that he is a democrat which was a bit hard for me to take. A kid is one thing but being a democrat. I mean how could I possibly date someone who is so misguided and uninformed that he would chose to be a democrat. I am the Jefferson Co. Young Republican Chairman for heaven's sake so how could I be dating a dem. Well, I am quite relieved and very happy to say that my loving boyfriend was just having a bit of fun with me because he's a Republican. HA HA! I knew he was too smart and had too much in common with me to be a democrat. John got a good laugh out of it and I suppose that makes up for that April Fool's prank I played on him. Thank God! What a relief; I'm not sure I could marry a democrat nor am I sure my friends would let me marry a democrat.

2002-04-11T00:03:00.000-04:00

"You never find yourself until you face the truth."
--Pearl Bailey

2002-04-08T17:54:00.000-04:00

I am in a pretty good mood tonight. My day started out hectic and I thought it was going to be rather unproductive, but much to my surprise it ended up just the opposite. By the time I left work tonight, I could actually see my desk again. This will of course be short lived as my desk will probably be covered again by 10:00 a.m. tomorrow but at least I can feel good that everything is done for now.

2002-04-07T23:17:00.000-04:00

A chapter closed in my life Friday night; that was my last night of work at Perfume Plus. After almost five years, I turned in my keys and said good-bye. It was perhaps a little sad but it mostly felt really great. At the very end of the night, I felt like I was on a series finale to a television show. Becki was ahead of me out the door so I turned, took one last look, turned off the lights, and closed the door. It was a strange feeling to know that was to be the last time I would close that store.

In the two weeks since I gave my notice, I had started to rethink my decision but as I left Friday night I knew I had made the right decision. It was time for me to move on. I have a lot of good memories from working there, made a couple of good friends, acquired some great perfume but the problems and headaches that have become common place in recent months aren't worth it anymore. I still see my friends and I will probably have a discount on Perfume for life so I'm glad I quit.

I am happy to say that I got to see and wait on my very favourite customer one last time. His name is Seth and I love him despite the fact that everyone else in the store hates him. He's been my custome for a long time now and he had to see me one last time. I was a bit surprised that he left his girlfriend setting at Tinseltown in a movie to get helped by me one last time, but he did. The other girls don't like Seth b/c he is pretty arrogant but that never bothered me. So I made my last sale at Perfume Plus to my favourite customer at a nice $160.00 (for one bottle of cologne).

C'est la vie!

2002-04-03T18:40:00.000-05:00

I hate this weather. I am tired of our current weather where it is warm for a couple of days then it's freezing cold again. I'd rather it be cold or warm but not this up and down crap. Not to mention that this up and down weather plays havoc with my sinuses; I have had a sinus headache all day and I know it's because it was so much colder today than the previous couple of days. I hate it!

2002-04-02T23:17:00.000-05:00

There just never seems to be enough time in the day. I get to work a little before 8:00 a.m. or right at 8:00 a.m. which anyone who knows me can tell you is a miracle in and of itself. So I get to work, backup the firm's computer system and get straight to work. My desk usually contains three stacks of files, etc. There is a stack for each of my two attorneys with things that I have to do that day and a stack of materials for them to review, sign, etc. From that time on, my day seems to fly by. Suddenly, it is lunch time only I haven't really been taking lunch breaks. I usually work through most of my hour lunch. Then before I know it, it is 5:00 and time to leave but I actually rarely leave at 5:00. Therefore my days are very busy, but I have to be honest and say that I wouldn't change it for the world.

I also really like that I am getting a shit load of experience. Both my attorneys have basically stopped dictating anything to me. They fly by my office door, tell me what they need, and wait for a finished product. I'm getting really good at knowing what needs to be done and they don't mind that I just go ahead and do it, which means I am getting lots of experience at writing Motions, Pleadings, Briefs, Correspondence, etc... I love it. I love my job and you all already know that I think the two attorneys I work for are great.

I am looking forward to having all my nights and weekends free. This coming friday night will be my last night at Perfume Plus. I will turn in my keys and move on. BTW, since the computer crashed in Louisville this week, I am even more excited to be leaving because I won't have to deal with it. My soon to be former boss tried to yell at me because the computer crashed last Thursday right as she was to leave for vacation and she got called while on vacation, but I reminded her that I have been telling her for several months now that this was going to happen and she did not listen to me. When she finally did decide to listen to me, she only halfway listened because she went and found some idiot off the street to do the work for her instead of hiring the person I suggested and now she is paying for it. HAHAHAHAHA!!! One would think after five years she would have learned to listen to me, I guess some people just never learn.

I spent Easter with John and Bryce in Illinois. I am also looking forward to having my weekends free to spend with them.

My goal this week and next is to start blogging more often. I have most certainly slacked off on how frequently I blog, but then again I don't really do that much that is worth blogging about and if you want to know what's going on in the world, you can go visit Dodd.

2002-03-26T23:31:00.000-05:00

So I had this great post all typed out and then I accidently deleted it all so here is the shortened version because I am exhausted. I am very very busy at work; we have opened about 8 new cases in the last week and that has kept me busy because I do almost all the initial work on the cases. John and I went to a history fair his son was participating in on Saturday. It was interesting and Bryce did very well; I was proud. Most importantly, last Friday, I gave my two weeks notice at Perfume Plus. My last day at Perfume Plus will be April 5th; I cannot wait. My boss was really nice about it and said she understood that I felt like it was time to move on. The only question she asked me was if I was getting married and then we had a nice conversation like old times.

I am turning in for the night now. Maybe I will feel like posting more tomorrow. I hope so because I feel a little bad that I haven't been posting more regularly. We'll see.

2002-03-18T21:26:00.000-05:00

It was a nice weekend. Friday wasn't all that interesting. Saturday, I went to a bridal shower in Lexington. My friends Todd and Sarah are getting married on April 20, 2002. They are such a great couple. I am so happy for them even if it means I have two unmarried friends. It was a really nice shower and Sarah got lots of nice stuff; her china pattern is really pretty. Then Saturday night, Dodd, Tracy, Tom and I went to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse for Dodd's birthday. We all had wonderful filets and Dodd got Cheesecake with a candle in it for his birthday. Hmmm...wonder what he wished for when he blew it out. Anyway, we had a nice evening. Sunday I did basically nothing. John and I laid around after he got back from Illinois and watched basketball. Did I mention that I am leading the NCAA pool at work...that's a shock especially since I didn't even know half the teams. John's a little irritated that I am doing better than him, but I told him to get used to it.

Today feels like a Monday. Actually, I haven't felt very good today so I think I am going to turn in early. I really hope I'm not coming down with something. Today was a busy day at work and tomorrow will proabably be twice as busy so I need rest and need to avoid being sick if at all possible. More later maybe or maybe not.

2002-03-15T07:19:00.000-05:00

Born unto us this day is a savior. Okay so that's a stretch, but Dodd was born this day in 1969. How old does that make him? Happy Birthday, Dodd!!!

2002-03-14T22:17:00.000-05:00

Echo's blog has a new look. Check it out.

2002-03-14T22:15:00.000-05:00

Damn that was a long post. Perhaps I should post more often.

2002-03-14T22:13:00.000-05:00

I realized that it has been days since I blogged and even then it was an online personality test. So I thought I would actually take the time to compose something and post it. I honestly have trouble finding stuff to blog about lately, but I'll at least ramble for a bit.

Work is going really well. I love working full-time. I am getting a lot of experience. The two attorneys I work for, John and Matt, are great. They are really fun and easy going but they also let me do a lot more work than the other paralegal/secretaries because they want me to learn. John and Matt are also in two different areas of the law. John does Workers' Comp and Matt does civil litigation which are pretty different with differnet procedures and stuff. I really like Workers' Comp. There is always something to laugh about with Workers' Comp such as a woman who tells her doctor she knows she is leaking spinal fluid because a prophet of God told her so. Stuff like that is priceless. So I really like work.

John and I are doing well. Sometimes I wish we had schedules that allowed us to spend more time together, but right now we don't. My job at Perfume Plus keeps me here most weekends and he goes to visit his son. Last weekend I got to go spend the weekend in Illinois with him and his family which was really nice. I wish he were here on the weekends at least some but I promised him I wouldn't ask him to give up that time with his son so I have to stick to that promise. Our required time apart does have its good points such as we don't have time to get tired of each other or get on each other's nerves. I won't say it isn't hard though. I have friends I'd like for John to meet and vice versa, however, he is a bit nervous about meeting certain friends of mine. We get to see each other quite a bit during the week when he isn't out of town doing a deposition or hearing. We have a pretty balanced relationship in that we have maintained our own lives and combined other parts. Eventually, everyone will get to meet I am sure.

John and I both still have our own friends that we spend time with which is nice. My friends are very important to and provide me with a lot of the balance and support I need in my life and he understands that. I think we are a good match. I don't know what the future holds but right now is good.

I still haven't decided what to do with regard to my job at Perfume Plus. It's nice to have that little bit of extra cash but it would also be nice to have every weekend off. I don't know. I think a little more time will tell. It has only been two weeks since I started working full-time so we'll see. I know I am tired of a lot of the bullshit that goes on there now and the constant chaos. I have two good friends that I like working with and one other girl I like working with which has been part of the equation because they really don't want me to quit. We'll see.

My Grandfather is doing well after his knee replacement surgery. I saw him tonight for few minutes. He mostly sleeps but he said it was the worst pain he has ever felt in his life. He should be up and around in a month or so.

As for the rest of my family, well, they are as fucked up as ever. I mostly now try to let them do there own thing and I just stay out of their problems. This makes my life happier and less stressful.

I have a new baby cousin, Jeff. His parents' are my cousins Dan and Beth whom I lived with over the summer for a bit. He so cute and very healthy for which I am thankful.

That's pretty much it. Like I said, there isn't really anything to overly interesting going on, but perhaps I'll try to start posting more regularly again. For now, I am going to bed because I have to be at work extra early in the morning.

2002-03-11T00:10:00.000-05:00

You're slick, sleek, and you waste no time when there's a mission to be taken care of. You do what you're told, even if it sometimes means risking your life. You care for others to such an extent that you'd do anything for the ones you love. Not only that, but you're stylish, original, agile, and passionate.

{via Dodd}

2002-03-07T22:34:00.000-05:00

I do not like March Madness!

2002-03-06T22:16:00.000-05:00

Well, my Grandfather's sugery went well. He will be in the hospital for three to five days but otherwise he should be good as new in a few weeks. I went by and stayed with him for a little while after work today. It was nice to see that he was alright and was in a pretty good mood (probably due to all those pain meds, but he wasn't in pain so they were working).

2002-03-05T22:40:00.000-05:00

My Grandfather goes into the hospital for knee replacement surgery tomorrow. I am worried. I think once your Grandparents or anyone in your family gets to be almost 80 years old, you worry when they go into the hospital or have to have surgery even more so than with someone younger because you realize they aren't young anymore and that so many more things could go wrong. However, I know he'll be fine and better off with a new knee. Send positive thoughts and prayers his way/my way if you feel so inclined. I know I would appreciate it. I do feel better knowing that he has a really good doctor.

2002-03-03T22:24:00.000-05:00

Have I mentioned lately that I am truly, madly, deeply in love? Well I am. However, Tom made me promise that before I even think of doing something like getting engaged or married that Dodd and he have to meet John, question him thoroughly, and make sure he's good enough for me and finally give me their approval. I didn't ask him what I was supposed to do if they hate John. Hmmm...

2002-03-03T21:33:00.000-05:00

Friday was my first day at Sheffer & Sheffer as a full-time paralegal/secretary. Actually, it wasn't all that different from any other just longer. I arrived at work at 7:50 a.m. which impressed the hell out of me because I hate early mornings and I've been used to going to work at 11:00 a.m. I spent a little bit of time raiding the previous secretaries desk for information, phone numbers, and books I'll need and tried to get things in some sort of order. One of my attorneys, John, came straggling in at 8:30 a.m. and the other, Matt, came bouncing in around 9:00 a.m. Matt is a morning person; he was so damn chipper and upbeat. John like me is not a much of a morning person or at least he isn't chipper in the mornings. As for work, well, I didn't really do anything much different than from before.

However, my day was not a total bore. Midday, John decides to send me to find a deed to a piece of property in the Cresent Hill area from July 1922. This was a true learning experience because I don't know about any of my other friends who've been in law school, but my Property Professor didn't make us go find a deed. This was something John found unbelievable. Therefore, since in law school he was put through the torture of finding a deed, it was absolutely necessary as a vital part of my education that I too have to go find a deed.

I go to the deed office with the little bits of information that he gave me. I finally find this nice lady who tells me that the books I need aren't on microfiche yet so she sends me over the basement of the old jail where the books are kept before processing. So I go over there, walk down this set of grey stairs to the basement and open the door. At this point I feel like I am in some kind of mystery movie. The basement is dark, water dripping from the pipes, rows and rows of dusty old books, hard concrete floor, and holes in the wall. I think I kept waiting for someone to grab me or kill me. Anyway I find the book I need but both copies are bolted shut. I go back over to the deed office and inquire as to what I am supposed to do. The lady tells me they bolt the books shut to keep the pages from falling out. She gives me a screwdriver and sends me back over to the basement. So I drag the book off the shelf, place it on this old metal desk, and take the screws out. This is the part in the film where someone opens an old book that holds the key to solving the mystery or murder and they blow the dust out of it. I find the appropriate listing and make note of which book contains the deed I am after. As I am closing the book, this huge huge huge cockroach goes crawling over my foot. That was it. I jumped, shrieked, dropped the screwdriver, and got the hell out of there. I did eventually after two hours find the 1922 deed and the original deed from 1858.

This experience taught me one very important lesson: once your a lawyer, always hire someone else to do this kind of shit for you. Anyway, it was a good day and I didn't really mind getting up at 6:15 a.m. to go to work--I must *love* my job.

2002-02-28T23:29:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I start working full-time for Sheffer & Sheffer Law Firm. Last Friday I asked for more hours and on Monday they offered me a whole other position. Tomorrow I become a full-time Paralegal/Secretary. I never dreamed they would offer that position to me mainly because I have basically no experience. I suppose I should take that as a compliment because the two Attorneys were happy about getting me and everyone else seems to have a lot of faith in my ability to do the job well. BTW, I get to put the Paralegal first because I still have to bill a minimum number of hours each week like the Attorneys do.

I am excited about my new position but I am also nervous. I am excited because I will continue to work in Workers' Compensation and I will get more experience in Civil Litigation; the two are as different as they are similar--Workers' Comp is a tough field, but it is thus far my choice for the future. As for nervous well, my new position will double my work load and double my responsibility but it will actually decrease the number of Attorneys for which I can do work. Previously, I could do work for any Attorney in the firm whereas now I am assigned to two specific Attorneys.

As I said, I will still be working on Workers' Compensation with my primary Attorney as I have been for several months now and I have one other Attorney also. I am probably more excited than I am nervous. Although, I am not looking forward to having to be at work at 8 a.m. but thank God for coffee.

I haven't decided whether I am going to quit Perfume Plus or not. I will probably give it a couple of weeks and then decide. Everyone knows I've grown very tired of Perfume Plus and it holds no future for me so there isn't much of a reason to stay there. It will mostly depend on how much I really want the little bit of extra cash which is sometimes nice. We'll see.

2002-02-28T18:42:00.000-05:00

That's about right.

Which Firearm are you?
brought to you byStan Ryker

{via Dodd}

2002-02-25T20:51:00.000-05:00

Good luck Dodd! My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know you'll do well.

2002-02-18T22:29:00.000-05:00

Here I am. I realized today that it has been days since I posted last. Oh well, life happens. So allow me to catch you up.

John and I had a very nice Valentine's Day. He cooked scallops and shrimp both of which were very good. I knew he could cook because we usually share the cooking during the week but I had no idea he was such a good cook. He may have to cook more often. We had a delicious dinner and spent a quite evening at home.

I worked a good portion of my weekend like Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday afternoon. Friday was long and boring. Saturday was pretty good because I a few friends that stopped in to say hello. When the day is moving miserably slow and you don't want to be at work anyway, friends are the best thing to make it better. I had a few good sales. We hired a new girl at Perfume Plus; Saturday was her first day. She's okay or rather was okay. She didn't show up for work tonight and didn't call. I could really careless. One of the first things she asked me on Saturday was "what's your sign?" followed by "what are everyone elses signs?". She said she wanted to know how we were all going to get along. Apparently we were the wrong signs for her. Oh well.....

Also, on Saturday my friend, Jeremy, called me to tell me he was getting divorced. I feel bad for him but there's nothing I can do about it. I'll be his friend like I have been since I was seven years old and life will go on.

Sunday, I worked then I had dinner with my Dad. That was okay.

Today, I worked at the law firm. I am off from Perfume Plus until Saturday--thank God. I am considering asking to go to full-time at the law firm. My primary attorney's secretary is leaving next week and the other Workers' Compensation attorney decided not to come back after having her baby. That leaves only one person to handle all the Workers' Comp so we'll see. I've looked over my billing very carefully and I know I am making a lot of money for the firm which is one point in my favor.

John is sick again. He was sick all day yesterday and most of today but I think he's feeling better. We are thinking of getting a dog. I really would like to have a dog. I love my Brother's dog; he's not even a year old yet and weighs about 100lbs. In a word he's huge, but he's really pretty and sweet.

That's all for now. Maybe I'll have more to say later.

2002-02-13T21:57:00.000-05:00

"A friendship that like love is warm; A love like friendship, steady. "
--Thomas Moore

"Can we love but on condition that the thing we love must die? "
--Robert Browning

{via Bartlett's Familiar Quotations}

2002-02-13T21:37:00.000-05:00

Ha Ha!

A few days after George W. Bush's inauguration, a man came up to the
Marine on duty at the White House and said, "I'd like to see President Clinton."
The Marine politely answered, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer President."
The man said, "Oh, okay." and walked away.

The next day the Marine was again on duty, and the same man approached and
again asked to see President Clinton.
The Marine again answered, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer President."
Again the man answered, "Oh, okay" and walked away.

The next day the same man approached the same Marine and again asked to
see President Clinton.
The Marine, a little annoyed by this time, said,
"Sir, I've told you, Mr. Clinton is no longer president. Don't you
understand that?"
"Yes, I do," said the man, "but I just enjoy hearing it."
The Marine smiled and said, "See you tomorrow."

{Courtesy of my friend Todd}